Script Development

So redrafting my script was fairly straight forward, I had done many changes regarding the first 3-4 pages over and over again because of the feedback I had received from Steve. 

This was the first draft, it lacked creativity and had a poor narrative as the 2 main leads were meeting up with no real reason for actually meeting up. So Steve suggested there to be a real motive for Millie to meet her at the pier, instead of just going there and telling Sarah that she wants to escape. So eventually coining the concept of the viral video. 

 So then when I figured out that the reason they're meeting is because Millie is furious that this video has been published and shared all across the social media, I could move forward with the entirety of the script. As well as this, cutting out one of the girls was a necessity as she was not forwarding the story in any way, more doing the opposite and prolonging unnecessary action. 

So then after the first two pages on the 2nd draft I decided to focus on Sarah, and take the story a different way, focusing on her and how she meets a man to which then Sarah realises is an old friend of her mums. However this really took focus off of Millie who having already spoke to Steve about my first draft, and how I should really be focusing on one, I decided to change on my 3rd draft. What I did was shortened the scene, and instead of a man, it'd be a woman who Sarah already knew and making it a less prolific scene. To which then I could spin back to Millie, having lost her job, experiencing even more turmoil.

In the 2nd draft what i decided to do was have Millie in a state of despair, so she has just lost her job and now is bed bound unwilling to try and reevaluate her life. However at the end of page 2, on my 3rd draft I decided to add that she receives a letter in the post. A letter regarding something, but at the time it took me a while to think of what may the contain of that letter actually be, an ex boyfriend coming back? something regarding an influx of money? it would of been something positive. But in the end I decided to suggest that it was another job prospect. 

This was down to Steve wanting more conflict and change, so i'm setting Millie up to fall again, and for her character to develop. With that as well I had Sarah, who in my 1st draft had a weird significant middle section to my script - 

(Sarah meets mysterious old man, turns out to be dead mothers past friend)

But then she had nothing really at the end, no change from being a bum, so in my 2nd I tried to incorporate somehow that she ends up with a job of some sort but it just wasn't working as I still hadn't really managed to chop down the middle scene of Sarah's. Until I managed to think of a way in which Sarah can actually turn things around between her relationship with Millie and her job prospect. I managed to coin a concept and it eventually lead me to hit two birds with one stone. 

The ending was always an issue in my 1st and 2nd draft as I'd look back at the notes from Steve on my 1st, and still could not really think of a way to end it which left the audience feeling satisfied. In the end, hoping I made the right decision on my 3rd draft I thought to end it with both Millie and Sarah working within the same environment, after Sarah has managed to get Millie her old job back. As last time in my previous couple drafts it had ended very cliche, and very dull. in my 1st and 2nd draft they would both end up fulfilling their goals/targets and not much conflict had happened throughout the script, and to end on such a note really made it a boring read. So I decided to end in my 3rd and potential final draft that I'd have Sarah reconcile with Millie, through getting Millie back her job and through that act of kindness, being rewarded with a job herself.

Overall the development and change of my script has been drastic, possibly changing entirely as it's not as much about escapism anymore, more just how Millie's life has been catastrophically ruined by this online social video and how through that the story transpires and becomes what it is. I'm quite happy with the script and it's format and layout, the narrative has always gave me slight worries but i've stuck with it and made it into something that i'm quite keen on now.